Published on: 12/11/2015IST

We all like to think that we’re versed in the bedroom arts, that we know a fair bit about sex, mostly picked up in the schoolyard or in late night Google searches but this list proves that even the most knowledgeable sexual voyager can learn from a few of the strangest sex facts we’ve ever heard.

At Any Given Time, 25 Per Cent Of People Are Daydreaming About Sex 

So by that logic one in four people you see on the street are thinking of giving or taking a dick. That woman in Tescos with the moustache who smiled as she brushed your hand to give you your change, probably thinking about a three-way with you and the vibrator she keeps under the counter named Kelvin.

Sex Can Relieve A Headache – It Releases Tension Which Restricts Blood Flow To The Brain

So the next time a partner is claiming to have a headache to avoid sex when they’re really just wanting to watch Top Gear or Britain’s Got Talent, try adopt a doctorly bedside manner before delicately pulling out this little nugget.

There Are About 1,000 Recognised Euphemisms For Vagina In The English Language

That’s a stunning number! Probably all invented by Shakespeare or featured in YouPorn searches. This is an indication of both the fascination with the vagina and the overly polite English approach to unmentionables. We don’t know how many euphemisms there are for penis, probably millions, and all of them used to describe Piers Morgan. 

Americans Spend Twice As Much On Porn As They Do On Biscuits

For Brits this fact is reversed. Which doesn’t mean Americans like porn more than Brits, just that they have shit biscuits. 

It’s Possible To Relieve Depression Through Wanking

So next time you’re feeling a little low, toss the Prozac in the bin and settle yourself in for a medically proven wank odyssey.

Man: “Hi Dr, I’ve just been feeling a little down lately.”

Dr: “I’m sorry to hear that, with modern medicine should have to suffer with feelings of depression.”

Man: “Oh is there a pill I can take?”

Dr: “Not exactly…”

The Amount Of Wet Dreams A Man Is Likely To Have Increases In Line With The Number Of Years He Spends In Formal Education

There has to be a direct correlation between the number of wet dreams and the number of bunkbed wanks being had in boarding schools. Kinda reassuring that lads in education are having wet dreams instead of the alternative which is lads in a dormitory under duvets wanking furiously. Surprising that soggy biscuit ever even managed to get invented.

Women Who Are Prone To Migraines Tend To Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Those Not 

The very definition of a double edged sword, a healthily high sex drive coupled with a handy excuse to get out of sex. Although an above stat claims that sex relieves headaches, so these women probably don’t have an unusually high sex drive, they’re just literally fucking the pain away. 

34 Per Cent Of Men Have Told Lies In Order To Have Sex, 10 Per Cent Of Women Have Done The Same

What’s truly startling about this statistic is not that people lie frequently to get sex, but that 90 per cent of women and 66 per cent of men are lying about lying to have sex.

With Nothing In Its Path, A Penis Can Shoot Semen Anywhere From 12 To 24 Inches

Who even measures this? Some lad there holding a ruler to the tip of his knob while pulling himself off. And how is there not a Guinness World Record for this? Probably ’cause porn stars like Peter North, whose ejaculatory prowess could probably hit targets in Russia from the continental United States, would win every year. 

During An Average Man’s Lifetime, He Will Ejaculate Approximately 17 Litres Of Semen, Which Amounts To About Half A Trillion Sperm 

Men with subscriptions to PornHub apparently ejaculate around 50 million litres of sperm every fortnight. Most of those however die a crusty death in a piece of tissue paper or in an old sock.

12/3/2015 | | Permalink